Breaking the Cycle: Choosing the Kind of Parent I Want to Be

I didn’t exactly grow up with the best example of parenting. Looking back, some of the approaches I saw, and sometimes felt were not what I’d want to pass down to my kids. That’s the tricky part: when you’ve experienced the “bad side” of parenting, it’s easy to let those habits sneak into how you raise your own children without even realizing it.

But here’s the thing, my wife and I aren’t aiming for perfect. We know we’re far from it. We argue sometimes, we miss the mark, and we stumble like anyone else. Yet, one choice we are very intentional about is this: we will not let the mistakes of the past become the standard for our future.

Parenting in today’s world is overwhelming. There are dangers, influences, and endless opinions on what the “right way” should look like. People always seem to have something to say, about what you feed your kids, how you discipline, how much screen time you allow, or even how you let them dress. And truthfully? We’re not here to please everybody.

Our focus is simple: raising kids who know their worth, hold on to their virtues, and grow into people who can be counted on in their community. That doesn’t mean things will turn out “ideal”, life rarely works that way but it does mean we’re planting seeds we hope will take root.

The rule of thumb I try to live by is this: don’t raise kids who create trouble for others. Instead, raise kids who know how to carry themselves with kindness, courage, and responsibility—even in a messy world.

And yes, some days my mind is a jumble trying to figure it all out. But if there’s one lesson I’m holding on to, it’s that parenting isn’t about proving perfection. It’s about breaking cycles, being present, and giving our kids a chance to live better than we did.