What I Thought Would Break Me… Didn’t

And the Unexpected Things That Almost Did

Before becoming a parent, I had a short mental list of things I was pretty sure would break me.

Sleep deprivation? Definitely.
Toddler tantrums? For sure.
Diapers, messes, schedules, constant noise? Probably all of the above.

And yet… here I am. Still standing. Still a little tired, yes — but surprisingly, those weren’t the things that nearly broke me.

Turns out, the hardest parts were sneakier. Quieter. Less Instagrammable. And somehow, more personal.

The Things I Was Bracing For… and Pushed Through Anyway

Let’s start here — because I don’t want to undersell the chaos.

Yes, sleep deprivation is brutal. We had months where 2am felt like a normal time to be fully awake and Googling “Why does my baby grunt all night?”

Yes, toddler tantrums are wild. I’ve had to negotiate my way out of a parking lot meltdown over the color of a spoon.

And yes, stepping on toys barefoot is exactly as painful as the memes say.

But I braced for those things. I expected them. I had mentally trained for battle. So when they came, I didn’t break. I just adapted — messily, slowly, with caffeine and whispered prayers — but I adapted.

What Almost Broke Me (That No One Warned Me About)

You know what actually chipped away at me?

Decision fatigue.
The hundreds of tiny choices every single day — snacks, naps, moods, screen time, socks, snacks again — until I’d hit 3pm and stare blankly into the fridge like it owed me answers.

Losing track of myself.
Not just physically (though yes, I did wear the same shirt for three days once). I mean mentally. Emotionally. I stopped asking myself how I was doing. I was too busy making sure everyone else was okay.

The pressure to always be “on.”
There’s no clocking out when you're parenting. And even when you finally get a break? Your brain doesn’t. It’s running background checks on every cough, spill, or silence-that’s-too-quiet.

Feeling invisible in the routine.
Sometimes it felt like I was just a blur moving through the day: changing diapers, cutting food into toddler-sized pieces, redirecting emotions, folding laundry that no one noticed but everyone needed.

What Helped (Even a Little)

I started checking in with myself — even if it was just during a quick coffee in the kitchen before anyone woke up.

I asked for help, even when I felt awkward doing it.

I lowered the bar. A lot.

I made peace with screen time. I let the house stay messy sometimes. I let myself sit down even if there were dishes. I found joy in small wins: a baby giggle, a tantrum dodged, a full cup of coffee reheated only once.

If You're In It Too...

If you’re feeling weirdly strong in the areas you thought would break you, but strangely tired in the ones no one talks about — same. It’s not just you.

This job is loud and quiet at the same time. It’s chaos, yes — but also repetition. It’s decision-making on autopilot. It’s love poured out constantly, with very little pause to refill your own cup.

So if you’re tired but still here — you’re doing it.

If you’ve cried in the bathroom but still came out smiling — you’re doing it.

If you forgot it was Tuesday and fed your kids cereal and microwave nuggets — you’re absolutely doing it.

Gentle Closing

The things I thought would break me didn’t.
The things that almost did? They didn’t win either.

Because even on the hard days — especially on the hard days — I’m still here. Still parenting. Still showing up. And that has to count for something.