No Favorites, Just Different Bonds: A Dad’s Reflection
There’s a lyric in James Blunt’s Monsters that goes, “Daddy, won’t you just close your eyes? Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn to chase the monsters away.” In the song, the son isn’t just stepping up for his father. It’s him taking responsibility to protect the family from harm, to carry the strength forward and chase the monsters away. For me as a dad, it resonates with the idea that part of raising a son is preparing him to use his strength not for dominance, but for care and protection, training for the day it will be his turn to stand watch. Parenthood makes you realize that love takes different shapes depending on the bond, but never loses its depth.
Father–Daughter Connection
There’s something about having a daughter that flips a protective switch inside of me. It’s not about her being a girl, it’s about seeing something precious I want to guard. When she runs to me after scraping her knee, or when she clings to my hand in a crowded place, my instinct is to stand between her and the noise of the world.
But here’s the balancing act: closeness without favoritism. I love both of my kids with everything in me, and I don’t want either of them to feel less seen. With my daughter, the bond often feels protective, that reminds me my job is to be a safe place while she grows her own courage.
Father–Son Connection
With my son, the connection feels different, but no less powerful. There’s a common pressure for dads to “toughen up” boys. For us, tough doesn’t mean hard, it means prepared. My job is to train him to stand watch: to keep calm under pressure, protect what matters when needed, own his mistakes, and use his strength to serve, not to dominate.
We roughhouse and race trucks, sure, but we also practice taking deep breaths, carrying groceries for Mom, fixing what we break, and saying sorry like we mean it. That lyric, “it’s my turn to chase the monsters away” isn’t about bravado; it’s about stepping into responsibility with courage and restraint.
Beyond Gender: Different Bonds with Different Kids
The truth is, it’s not really about daughters vs. sons. It’s about who they are as individuals. Each child draws something different out of me. My daughter shows me tenderness; my son pushes me toward readiness. She reminds me of gentleness; he reminds me of resilience. Together, they keep me balanced as both a father and a man. And to be clear, bravery isn’t reserved for boys. My daughter already chases her own monsters in her own way.
Every parent knows this deep down: kids aren’t copy-paste versions of us. They’re unique, with their own personalities, quirks, and ways of connecting. That’s the beauty of it. One bond doesn’t take away from the other, it simply adds a new dimension.
What I Hope You Take Away
If you’ve ever wondered why your connection feels different with each child, you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean you love one more, it just means love shows up in unique ways. Parenting isn’t about sameness; it’s about seeing each child clearly and giving them the love they need in the way they need it, while teaching strength that protects and love that serves.
Different bonds. Equal love. That’s the real story of fatherhood.